Bedtime Battles

Tonight has been one of those nights.  When I talk struggles, its with the 3 yr old, not the baby.  She is easy.

First of all... Bedtime started about a full hour after I wanted it to.  9pm.  So... At 8 I gave Chloe a bottle and settled her to bed.  Greg was watching Family Guy... (That's a whole other can of worms that I don't want to open tonight) and Kal wanted to watch with him. I decided I'd let Kal go till 9.  Warned him at 845 and already the whines begin.

Finally I say let's go brush our teeth.  Our current ritual is all 3 of us brush together.  Here is where trouble starts.  We can't find his superman cup, and while Kal and I search, daddy put the toothpaste on Kal's toothbrush.  Kal freaks out and rubs the paste off... And the battle begins.  Kal put the toothpaste on his brush (using too much) and tried to insist on doing daddys too (idk who did mine since there was so much commotion.. but it wasn't me)  and daddy said No.  And that's where the reeeaaallll drama began. Our bathroom is a hop away from the bedrooms.  Kal whined, daddy yelled. Kal whined some more... Chloe wakes crying.  Mommy is now mad. 

Is the toothpaste on the brush battle worth all the screaming? If I were alone, I'd probably have let him do it.  Is that bad?  Am I not teaching proper dicipline by not telling him no? Or could Greg have let that one go? Maybe I let too many go? IDK...

I hate ending a night pissed off and frustrated.  Blah....

Completely Bummed

I am having one of my worst mommy days in my 3+ years as a mommy.  Kal fights to go to bed most nights, but eventually after a story and all of that, all goes smoothly...

Tonight not one of those nights, however tonight it was rather worse than normal..... its all dealing with that first born.... for whatever reason, lately he has been insisting on daddy doing the story reading instead of me, but normally I can convince him if Greg doesnt want to do it.... Greg wanted to feed Chloe so thats what he was doing when I convinced Kal to read a story with me instead of Daddy.  We were done with the story and I was waiting for Kals stall techniques (the potty...water... etc...)  instead he just goes straight to "I want daddy"  I knew daddy wasnt done feeding Chloe... so I tell Kal lets go potty first... no... DADDY.... DADDY DADDY No matter what I did thats all he said.... then the asking for daddy turned into cries for daddy, I yelled (i know that was a bad idea as I did it)  then I finally got him to go potty and he brushed his teeth... at this point he was just crying and crying..... so daddy was finally done with Chloe and he came in for Kals hug and kiss and I gave him his hug and kiss and he said I love you to us both and we leave and watch TV.

Well an hour or so later he is up crying.  Daddy goes in and cannot console him.  I think whatever he did may have made him cry more..... so I think maybe he wants me.  Maybe I can calm him,  At first I thought it was going to work.  It appeared he was calming down.  I told him I would stay with him a little and he said... No, leave!  whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat?  I just couldnt believe he had said that.  So I said ok I will leave, goodnight and I love you Kalvin.  I love u too mommy.... he says... I leave....... minutes later I sweaaaaaaar i hear him calling moooommy mommmmy.... so I go back in.... I tell him ok do you want me to stay now?  noooo LEAVE!  he says and he is crying as he says this to me... WHAT THE HELL WENT WRONG TODAY???? WHAT WAS GOING ON IN HIS HEAD TONIGHT?????  SO I was at my wits end and I screamed I am gonna pull my hair out over this!!!  Greg comes in and picks Kal up and tells him, fine come out here and lay with me (in the living room).   I swear I saw this huge SMIRK on my childs face... WTF?

UGH I seriously have NOOOOOOOOOOOO idea what just happened..... :(

Sometimes you just need to vent

I can't help myself today.  I have to vent.  Its been one of those days.  Ive been tired ALL day.  I know most woman envy that I can be a stay at home mom and spend all day with my children and watch them grow.  I KNOW I am blessed with 2 beautiful children and I am soooo happy for that.  HOWEVER.  Today. I can't help but be frsutrated.  Today being home all day long with my children is more of a curse than anything.  I cant put Chloe down for one second today without her crying, altho she did sleep for almost an hour, it was while Kal was awake... when it was time to put Kal down for nap she was obviously tired and fell asleep on her own in her swing (it wasnt even moving at the time)  She started to wake up a bit so I move her to her bassinet, I am cleaning the kitchen which MAJORLY needs it, and I can hear her screaming.  I think I went in there about 10 times before I gave in and tried to feed her (it was close to 3 hours but not exactly since she had her last feeding)  I STILL hadnt had anything to eat for lunch for myself..... but i sit down and feed her and she drinks maybe an ounce and a half before she goes ballistic again and doenst stop.  I HAD to just put her in her bassinet and let her cry.  She is STILL crying as I type this.  I dont know what she wants, but WHY is it when I NEED some peace and quiet I DONT GET IT.  when I have NOOOOOOOOOOOOTHING to do she sleeps 3 hours straight.

Ok I am done complaining... lol.  Deep Breath..... might need to pop in an Aleve before I go back and get her tho!

Shadows

OMG.  We just experienced one of the biggest meltdowns of our 3 year old life today.....

So obviously I am speaking of Kalvin here.  So here is how the evening rolled.  Chloe got her bath in her tub, then when I got her dressed Kal helped himself and jumped in HER bathtub... lol... Well, I was planning on giving him a bath next anyway, so I got him out of the baby bath and got his bath started.... in the bath he was squirting me with a water gun, and I kept saying owww... so he tells me you dont have boo boo!  I said I do, and showed him a cut I had on my finger, which prompted him to INSIST on getting me a bandaid!  Then he was pretending to be a dog and give doggie kisses on my shoulder..... Anyway... when it was time to get out he jumps on out, runs out the door stark naked an no towel and starts acting goofy... runs back in the bathroom and shouts.... then runs out and keeps shouting and giggling after he shouts.... jumps ON the couch and jumps on the top of the couch.  I told him to stop that because I didnt want him to fall and get hurt.  Well.... he did it a few more times anyway.... then ALL of a sudden he started to cry... I mean total meltdown crying.  Tears streaming.......

He tells me... MY HAIR SCARY!  (his hair was sticking out everywhere still from his bath, and I guess he saw his shadow on the window curtains.....) I asked him if he was scared of the shadows and he said yes.  I told him they were JUST SHADOWS that they were HIS and could not hurt him, but he just continued to wale and wale and wale.

I have NO idea how this came about..... but I kinda laughed at first..... (BAD MOMMY!)  because it was kinda funny in a way.... but he just kept crying and crying even more so I gained my composure and tried to calm him..... Greg kinda didnt help either, he was playing madden at the time and kept yelling at him to stop crying and not to be scared but that didnt help!  It was a mess....  then he said he wanted his hair cut..... wow it was something else... I really wish I knew what brought this on..............

I felt so bad that I stayed in this room tonight till he fell asleep......

I am a worrywart

I am blogging because Facebook is acting goofy and there was noone online to talk to in order to pass my time away and possibly keep me sane while I sit here and wonder what the reason is that Greg is not home yet, not answering his cell, and not at his work desk.  He could be in a meeting and therefore no reason to worry but he usually is off work by 4pm and its 520 and if he is in a meeting it was last minute because yesterday I knew AHEAD of time, like the day before.... that he would not get out of work till 5.  Today, I have NO idea whats going on and at this point its PAST 5 too.  I do not know what to do right now for I am about to lose my marbles.......

Sometimes I just don't know what to do....

Chloe has to have a follow up at the pediatrician because of her hospital stay, and because Kal got sick after, he is gonna be examined as well... even though he is looking much better today.

I told that to Greg and told him what time the appointment was, and that since it was for the both of them and because of an illness I would like him to come with me.  He would have to leave work about 2 hours (maybe 2 1/2) early based on the appt time we have, but when I told him about it I thought he said he would take us.

I somehow misread that to be he would take us if we had NO other way to get there.... then even made a remark about how its close enough to walk and I walk to other places nearby....

I feel like total shit cuz I was the one that spent 48 straight hours in the hospital with Chloe, all I wanted was him to be present for her follow up at the doctors office instead of Gregs mom or dad or grandparents and I thought he understood that.... but he doesnt seem to want to use 2 hours of leave to be there with me.  AND to add to it all, Gregs mom seemed to make a  remark to the fact that when he is the ONLY worker in the household....  (so another words he cant afford to lose 2 hours of work... (forget the fact that there is a thing called paid leave, or the fact that they let you make up time if you dont wanna use it, and its only 2 hours....)

But maybe I am being unreasonable and since I made the choice to be the stay at home mom I ALONE should make all the sacrifices dealing with the children and he NEVER should be a part of it.  He has not gone to one of Chloes appts since her very first one and heck if I can remember the last time he came with me for one of Kalvins.

Sue me for wanting Greg to be a part of ONE of the many thousands of appts to come for the kids.......................... :/

Looooooooong Time no Blog.....

Ok, So I know its been a WHILE.  Ive been busy/tired/etc....

So...  I decided to blog about my holiday weekend experience... most of you that I know read this have probably already been told what happened, but I decided to write about it anyway.

So Friday night, Chloe was being really fussy about eating all night... she also woke up at 2am really fussy but wouldnt eat.... (she normally sleeps through now).  At 6am she would not eat but 1 oz for Greg.  At 9 she only drank 1.5 oz for me and while I was holding her I noticed she felt alarmingly warm.

Upon checking her temp, it read 101.4, so I called the pediatricians emergency off hours number... being her age  was under 3 months, the doctor told us to go to the ER.

We arrive at the ER at 1030ish and the nurses there tell me that she will need to get a urinalysis, blood drawn, and a spinal tap to rule out any really bad life threatening diseases right off the bat when she is admitted, and that she will need to be monitored in the hospital for 48 hours with antibiotics (to be on the safe side) to when at the 48 hour point if all the tests are negative and she is otherwise healthy they will chalk it up to some bug and send us home....

So my memorial day weekend was spent with her at the pediatric emergency unit..... well, Greg stayed home with Kalvin, and took him to his great uncle Mikes house to swim saturday night, and Greg and Kal came to see us Sunday morning, and then Greg took Kal to uncle Mikes Memorial Day picnic that day.... Well... at 6pm sunday, Greg tells me that Kal slept on their couch for 2-3 hours there (he NEVER naps at other peoples homes normally!)  and when he woke up he cried and cried and asked to go home and go to bed....  when Greg got home he called me and told me Kal had a temp of 100.8 and then when Kal woke up it climbed to 102.0 even with tylenol.  

Back to Chloe... This morning I got the word from the doctor that all tests came back normal and that Chloe was free to go home.  Kal's temp was down but he was still not at his 100% energy level.  Gregs brother John watched Kal while Greg picked up Chloe and I at the hospital....

When I first got home, Kals temp seemed fine but he was obviously at 50-75% energy level compared to his normal bouncy self.  Just an hour ago though... temp back up to 102.0.  :(

What a lovely memorial day weekend we are having right?  I am just very thankful Chloe's fever was nothing serious and we are all home together!  We may be spending Memorial Day in the house, but it certainly beats the 2 days I spent in the hospital over the weekend!

My Adventure into Breastfeeding

Ive ALWAYS said I would breastfeed my children, even before that first positive pregnancy test came to be....

So when Kalvin came 6 weeks early, I immediately told the docs and nurses I wanted to pump for him.  Unlike other moms, I couldnt hold him minutes after his birth and try.  He was wisked away to the NICU after letting me get a quick glimpse of him.  My epi had to wear of, and he had to have many tests done, so it was probably 24 hours before I could see him, and even longer till I could hold him and try to breastfeed.  He spent 2 weeks in the NICU where all I did was pump at home and bring my expressed milk to my once a day visit to him where I attempted to feed him.  I had to agree to bottle feeding because otherwise he could not be sent home.

When we arrived at home, I tried him at the breast at EVERY feed.  For every unsuccessful latch, after 15 min of screaming, I would have to bottle feed him either what Ive pumped or formula if I didnt have enough stored.  Then to keep up my supply I would pump. I felt like feeding and pumping was all I had time for in my day, and at night I did not get a wink of sleep... I cant remember how long I held on, but eventually I just gave up.  It was too much.  Feeding sessions were lasting 45 min to an hour, and he was eating in 2 to 3 hour increments.  In my vision, BF would take 15-20 min and that would be it!

I did not have any good resources to help me keep going and I was just too tired.  So when I was pregnant again, I thought... well as long as this baby makes it to full term, I can do this!!  So my 40.2 weeker......

Im having the same problems ALL OVER AGAIN.  But this time I have a toddler to worry about too.  I do have more support in all my FB friends, and I realize I have resources at GBMC, and have called the warmline 2x already.  However I am still not getting it.  Last night I did not even go to sleep till 2am because I was pumping/bottlefeeding/breastfeeding and then she was hungry all over again before I got the chance to lay down!  then she was up again at 3 and then 4!  At 3 she was not interested in eating but at 4 she was.... I did NOT pump that time... so i had gone all night not pumping cuz I just wanted to sleep.  She didnt wake up again till about quarter till 7....

I dont know how much longer I can go on like this to be honest.  If it was this difficult in the beginning for my other BF mommas, please tell me how you managed?  Especially those with a toddler at home with you?  I truly still believe breast is best, but man those free samples of  formula are calling my name (and my husbands name, for my sake of sleep!)

......and baby make 4

I have been wanting to write in this blog since coming home from the hospital on Thursday but there NEVER seems to be a good time to do so!!!!   I am either busy or tired.  Feeding or pumping.  Eating or caring for my certain ailments caused by the pregnancy.  Changing a diaper or putting a tired baby back to sleep.  Going BACK to the hospital 2x for lab tests for Chloe and her Biliruben .  Dealing with Kal and his regressing issues (altho I have help with his dad on that one).  At least I am not cooking.  My mom or Greg have been doing that.  And since my mom is such a neat freak, she has done all the cleaning.

We had a full house of visitors today.  Great Pop and Nana Jordan, Poppop and Mommom, Great Uncle Sam and 3rd cousin Jayden (Kals age).  They had a blast playing together.  I should talk to his mom and have her come over here more often so they can play together.

Anyway,  adjusting to this new family of 4 thing is not going to be very easy.  Not that I expected it to be or anything but OMG this week has been crazy.

First of all, I've been having trouble with the breastfeeding endeavor.  Chloe was rooting but not opening her mouth wide enough, and KILLING my nipples in the process.  We would fight each other with the latch for 15-20 min OR MORE, all the while her getting angrier and angrier and just flailing her legs about and FREAKING out.  Nothing I tried seemed to work.  She wasnt eating well AT ALL the last few days and her poops have dwindled.  I was frustrated because with all the crazy things we had to do, like get those blood tests for example, we would get so behind on feedings.

I used past tense on the last paragraph because tonight we had a breakthrough!  Called GBMC warmline dispite my usual anxiety to call strange people on the phone especially to admit I need help with something..... She gave me some tips, I followed them, and BOOM!  Chloe fed from each breast for a good 15 min or more with a COMFORTABLE latch!!!!  I was only gonna do one side, but she woke up 15 min after setting her down and was rooting again.

Basically what the specialist told me to do, was use my finger as a way to help open her mouth wider, and use either expressed milk or formula in a special syringe they gave me at the hospital to drip into her mouth to simulate that the milk is coming and therefore giving her some instant gratification and encouraging to continue to suck.   Well, its only the FIRST time, but it worked for EACH breast this time around!! OH BTW... nipples are tingling and have some wetness on my night shirt.  Those are both good milk coming in signs right? :)

Now to Kalvin.  Just as I thought, he is regressing BIG time.  He keeps stealing Chloes binky saying MINE. (he never liked the binky before)  He sits in her baby swing (that used to be his.. oops.. lol)  Yesterday I was in my sitz bath on the toilet... Kal comes in the bathroom and said "I Poop".  I thought he meant he NEEDED to poop so I said hold on and let me finish up here and you can go and he said "NO" and then I smelt it.  He had ALREADY GONE!  UGH!  So Greg changed him and I could hear Kal in his room making crying noises like the baby.  GREAT.  Well Greg did his thing to teach him he cant do that... told him it was time for bed (it was anyway) talked to him a bit more and told him good night.

Now i was REALLY mad at this point....still sitting on the sitz bath I could hear Kal asking for "mommy hug kiss" though, so I was like ok, well I will go in in a few and give him a talk.  So I went in, told him how he was a big boy and he is supposed to poop in the POTTY.  That mommy is so proud of him that he knows how to do that and that Chloe is a baby and DOEST know how to  go on a potty and mommy is just happy she is pooping cuz she knows Chloe is eating enough.  I told him that mommy would rather Kalvin tell mommy he had to use the potty and she would be happy to give him some one on one attention to take him and help him go, but if he does it in his pants, mommy would not be happy.  And he repeated alot of what I said ( like I big boy!) and then asked for his hug and kiss.  I was sitting on my knees and he was standing/  He laid his head on my shoulder and gave me a long hug.  And then my tears started to flow.  LIKE the realization that he ws no longer my baby anymore just hit me like a ton of bricks.  He can put his head on my shoulder while STANDING if I am kneeling to the ground.  Visions of me rocking Kal to sleep when he was Chloe's size came flowing back.   Now he can comprehend what I am telling him and repeat my words back to me.  He is about my kneeling height already....  Where did the time go??  UGH to the females hormones!!!!

I know this is getting long, but one more thing.  Ive noticed lots of my friends blogs, they tend to come up with funny names for their children.  Well.... one that I have been calling Chloe lately stems from how she cries when she is REALLY frustrated.  She literally squeals then snorts.  Yea.... so I have been calling her Lil Miss Piggy.  Kal, well everyone in our family already calls him Superman... some of you already know the reason for that.  So, to follow everyones footsteps, I may start referring to Kalvin as Superman, and Chloe as Miss Piggy... lol :)

My birthing story

So I am still at the hospital, but the hospital has WiFi, and Greg and Chloe are sleeping.... FB is not working from the hospital....

I feel I need to tell this story because it was an experience I will never forget.  If you are squeamish and don't want the horrific details, you might want to stop reading now.... lol, cuz this story will get a lil gross....

So, most of you may have seen from facebook that I first called the OB/GYN at 3pm about back pain,  She wanted me to come in, so we did.  We were seen around 6pm originally, but nothing was progressed enough to stay.  They told us we could come back in 2 hours.  We did.  Still not good enough.  So home we went.   Of course, I come home and things get stronger and closer together JUST LIKE THAT.  By 11pm I couldnt take it anymore.  Went back to labor and delivery.  Somehow my water broke at that point so I was staying regardless of contraction time and dilation....

WELL it was close to 2amby the time we got there and were officially admitted into the labor/delivery room.  12 hours later I was ALMOST 10cm.  Felt like it took me forever to get to 10cm and get to the "pushing" stage.    Little did I know that was gonna be worse than the rest!!  It was about 2pm on Tuesday when I started..... If you saw her birth time.... you know there was a looooooooot of time in the "pushing" stage already.....

So here goes.  It wasnt bad at first.  First of all my mother and father made it down here before that stage and therefore my mother was able to be around for everything... it was Gregs mom, mine and Greg all coaching me thru it.  So begins.... an hour goes by... some small progress but she not close to being out yet.  Change of nursing shift at 3..... (here comes the kinda gross parts)  I started to swell up.... yes, in the front AND back.... Then what started happening during a contraction/push session,  Chloe's heartrate would drastically drop and go into distress. So we had to take lots of pushing breaks to rest and relax her, and hopefully bring her heart rate back up.  It always did go back, but it extended labor even longer.  I REALLY began to swell up after that.... I mean just awfully.  That just made it even harder to get her out.... There was a point where while taking a break because Chloe's heart rate went down again, that the nurse discussed a possible c-section to me.   She was really nice about it, and told me its a last resort at this point and by no means a definite, but they were pretty sure that Chloe's distress was caused by the cord being wrapped around her neck, and that either I can get her head to show through just enough to get a vacuum or forceps thru it, OR a c-section was inevitable.  I was in tears, for I did not want a c-section.  I wanted a natural delivery, 2 day hospital stay... ya know?   I know that lots of people have no choice, and get it done and it works out for them, but I totally did not want it for me!

Well apparently thats ALL it took for me to get JUST enough motivation to push that lil mama out far enough... cuz an hour later, the head was out JUST enough for my OB to put a vacuum on lil Chloe's head and help pull her out.  Of course that didnt mean my job was over my ANY means.  Once the vacuum was in, and I had another contraction, I had NO choice but to push, push push push... and push some more, while my doc pulled with the vacuum thing..... If you have given birth vaginally before, you know its 3 10 sec pushes  thru each contraction, then some time to rest.   Well, once the vacuum went in, I seriously had to just keep pushing there was no break for another contraction.  I think I had to do it like 6 or more in a row like that.... not an easy task, especially when you are already so swollen and everything!!  Well before I knew it, the baby was out, Chloe was born!  And she was perfectly fine and healthy... and definitely DID have the cord around her neck....

I started pushing shortly after 2pm.   Chloes birth time was 5:44pm.  You do the math.  yea, about 4 hrs of pushing.  NOT FUN.

But its done, she is born, and she is just absolutely beautiful!!!  :)

So I will probably also put these on FB, but I figure those that follow my blog without my posting it to FB can get a sneak peak, since bloggers site is working at the hospital while FB is not!

This is going to be my new FB profule with me cut out of it of course... lol

Blogging through contractions.....

So.... went to the labor and delivery too early today, however NOW that I am home, "trying to get rest"  There is just NO way!!  HOW?  I feel like I am still probably TOO far apart to call the doc, but TOO close to get rest?!?!?!

AND THE HUSBAND IS SNORING HIS DAMN A$$ OFF!! UGH!  I am in the living room (our bedroom is first floor and right off the living room) and I CAN HEAR IT.  Its driving me batty as I sit here.

Well I am glad SOMEONE might get some rest tonight.....

I am so super confused about these contractions.  I never experienced things this way with Kalvin so this is all foreign to me!  By no means do I feel like I can get any sort of accurate timing on these things right now!  BUT what I DO KNOW, is that they are increasing with intensity FOR SURE and did not go away after walking around the mall in between checks at the hospital.  With Kal it would not have mattered how dilated I was, how close the contractions were.... his water broke, and he was coming soon regardless.... I totally did not expect that to happen because I was only 34 weeks along.  This time, past 40, and of course since I WANT to be admitted, I am not far enough along and NO water breakage.... UGH!  lol.

What annoys me is going on babycenter/what to expect/etc to find advice.  Whats annoying to me is that they say early labor is best done in the comfort of your home so that you can relax.  Well, if I am in early labor then I must have a low pain tolerence because I CANNOT relax no matter WHERE I AM.  I am barely typing without cringing every so often even......

Well... I would really LOVE to try to rest.  But can I?  Especially now adding the snoring husband to the mix???  UGH!

I am super happy it SEEMS that I will be finally having this baby maybe rather soon?  Like in the next 24 hours or less??? But I just wish I were far enough along when we were AT the hospital instead of feeling like this right now....... and being unsure if I should wait even longer.....

40 weeks....

So today is the day.  I am officially 40 weeks.  I know technically they can let it go till 42, but I cannot help but HOPE and WISH it would just happen already!!!

I dont mean to sound rude to anyone with the "let it happen" advice, or the "enjoy this part while you can" advice..... but seriously, especially coming from someone that has no personal experience with this it can get really annoying.

Ive mentioned it before.  I am physically uncomfortable.  I am not sleeping well anyway.  My sons sleep habits have gone off their rocker right now too.  He suddenly is having constant bed wetting accidents that were few and far between when I first removed the pullups at night, and even when he is NOT wetting the bed he is waking up every hour or so crying.  Not sure if he senses changes are coming or what....

Last night I woke up in a sweaty mess several times.... not sure why.  Also I am one of those unfortunates that experienced hemorriods, and still have the issue now.  Just going to the bathroom hurts.  I am waddling like a penguin. I like penguins but I dont want to walk like one.  Going back to sleep is almost an impossibility once I get woken up by either Kal, my bladder or some other odd thing....

By the way he is walking much faster then I am lately... lol

I am tired of the "when you due, looks like you are about to pop" comments.  Got it about 5 times at the mall yesterday.

I know when the baby comes she will likely wake me up needing fed or changed.  Ive had a newborn before. Kal may get woken up too and I may have double trouble.  I expect that.  Kals behavior may change.  I expect that too.  I have plans on how I can include him in on the baby though, and I hope that he can learn quickly.   In no way do I expect things to be a breeze once the baby arrives, but I would like my physical aspects to feel relief finally!!!!

Basically I know people have good intentions with their advice, but maybe they should think it through before saying it........

Under 48 hours and counting....

....Till midnight of this lil ones due date......

Actually about 36 at this point since its 10am.  I was so worried about another preemie birth and here I am trucking along 2 days till her actual due date??  I never thought I would make it THAT far.  Now I am worried I might fly PAST it.  UGH.

Trust me we've tried ALOT of the methods, including the first one anyone would think of... haha..... did I drink castor oil? HELL NO, and nor WILL I!  LOL.  Ive 'thought" about that eggplant parm, but my picky lil butt is thinking... yuck to the eggplant.... lol.  Oh, it doesnt help that I know Greg is picky when it comes to veggies and thats a veggie technically.... lol.

The last 2 nights have been HORRENDOUS.  Last night even worse than the night before.  I am groggy and tired and moody today.  In the past week actually nights have been rough.  What isnt helping is in the past week Kalvin has wet his bed 3 times. He is not even 3 so I am not gonna say I am mad about this, but its frustrating because Ive taken the night pullups away more than a month ago and he has had more accidents this past week than the entire time since I took them away!

Last night went like this:  Kal went to bed late cuz of dinner being started late, because of all the grocery sorting I had to do when Greg got home.  He went down at 9.  We started our "labor inducing methods at 1030.  1130 I am finally drifting off into dreamland.  First cry from Kalvin to jostle me out.... I took him to pee and we went back to sleep.  Then 130-2 it happens again.  I did not send him to the potty that time.  Probably my BIG mistake right there.  the extra 5 min that would have taken may have saved me the next incident which was at 4am.  He woke up DRENCHED in pee.  So, since the last few times just changing him and letting him lay with us was unsuccessful, I thought, might as well change him and his bed and just keep him in his room.  Weeeeeeeeeell, I STILL could not fall back asleep, my mind was going a mile a minute while my body was screaming SHUT UP!  Before I knew it, Gregs damn alarm was ringing.  When he left, I finally dozed back off, but not long enough, for Kal was up about an hour later, ready to start the day......

blah!  I just wish my sleep was interrupted because of the NEWBORN, not the TODDLER! :( or BOTH, but at this point, being pregnant and sleepless is making my life uncomfortable and miserable!!

I do want to thank Chloe for not giving me a preemie again though, but REALLY girl, its time!!!! :)

Pet peeves of the moment

Maybe its the fact that I am almost 40 weeks exactly, and completely uncomfortable and tired and moody.... but lately certain things have totally gotten under my skin....

First of all.  I have mentioned this before, and I will mention it again.  And someone will STILL be a smart ass about it AGAIN....

My facebooking.  YES I use facebook often.  I AM A SAHM.   I do not interact with co-workers and peers my age,  I dont leave the house to do my work.  I work inbetween going on facebook.  I often LEAVE the computer with facebook up as I do the laundry, wash the dishes clean the bathroom.  Play with Kalvin.  But since I am HOOOOOOOOOOOOME all day long, YES its up almost all day long.  I use it to interact with other adults that if it WERE NOT for facebook I wouldnt have that interaction.  I use it for advice from friends about things, and just to vent, or just to play some games sometimes while Kal is watching spongebob or elmo or whatever it is....  So I am tired of the "OMG Lea is not on facebook she MUST be in labor!!!"  Especially if you looked at my wall and saw my status from a few hours ago that SAID I was going to the doc for my appointment and that after visiting them, i found out there were no changes in dilation or anything yet!!!!  I do have a life outside of FACEBOOK, just during the day, or when Greg is watching something in the evenings I dont like, it entertains me.

The other thing. DONT comment about my lack of a license please.  If you dont know me well and inquire about why, thats fine.  But seriously, if you make a comment on my facebook and its irrelevant to my post to begin with, why bother.  Its a long story to why I still do not have it, but part of me has a fear of it.  Please just leave it at that and leave me ALONE about it.  I hope to get over that fear but in the meantime LEAVE IT BE.

I think there were plenty more pet peeves but thats all I can think of at the moment.  Sorry for the rant.

Absorbent and Yellow and Porous is he!

This post might be a little random so do not mind me........

I dont know if its just me or what, but facebook is having a lot of loading problems for me tonight...

Kalvin was eating spongebob fruit snacks.  He was playing with the Mr Krabs one and saying, "money money money money!"

My son never fails to amaze me these days.  Like my title to this blog, his mind is like a little absorbent sponge.  He has this computer that he plays with, and although its labelled 3 and up, he has already mastered most of his letters (he is even getting the lower case at this point) thanks to this computer.  My parents got it for him for Christmas and shortly after he was getting the letters right.  He sees letters now and recognizes them.

Also, we have this baby doll that I pulled out when I found out I was expecting.  Kalvin has been "teaching her to go potty".  Its so funny, he goes "baby pooped pants!  gross!"  then he will sit her on the potty and go "dont fall in!" "now go poopy! ""are you done?"  He even goes as far as to wipe her bottom.... lol.  Also he will give her a nap and he was holding the doll singing "go to sleep, go to sleep" he put the doll in the bassinet and covered her and told me she wanted a hug and kiss... lol.  I hope he is as good with his lil sister as the baby doll!

Anyway. 39 weeks 2 days.  Chloe has baked long enough!  I started this pregnancy worried about another preterm birth and here I am just wishing it were over now already!  I go tomorrow for another check up, so we will see what my doctor says!!  Sigh..................

Yes, Blogging at 430 in the morn

So between my pregnant  bladder waking me up,  Kalvins bladder releasing in his sleep and causing his bed to be wet and a need of clothes change and either bed sheet change or crawl in bed with us... I chose crawl in with us.

I lay there with barely no room, and then my hubby starts his deep hibernation breathing.... for some reason my hubby tends to breath as if he has just run a marathon, and if I dont fall asleep before he does I have to hear it while trying to fall asleep myself.  Sometimes it gets even worse and the snoring begins.  Today its both.  Then my stomach begins churning and bubbling and I am suddenly STARVING.  So I am blogging and eating honey nut cheerios (dry in a bowl) at 430am.

I am 39 weeks today.  STILL no productive labor signs, altho I have been cleaning like a lil bee this weekend so hopefully soon?????  I am terribly uncomfortable anymore and tired.  If I have to be awake like this at 430 in the morn, I wish at least I had a baby at my boosum, you know???  UGH.

Well... I may try to go back to sleep now...

Embarassing and Slightly Gross confessions of a Pregnant woman.....

OK,

I am writing this blog this morning because I have had one major uncomfortable night last night.  It was far from my first uncomfortable night though.

Anyone that thinks pregnancy is only uncomfortable and painful during labor/delivery either never experienced pregnancy or is a man (kinda the same thing? lol)

Granted some women experience easier pregnancies than others, I don't think anyone breezed through it 100% without some sort of goofy ailment that kept them awake at night or was just plain uncomfortable.

Now let me start by saying  that I was kind of lucky in the "morning sickness" part of pregnancy for both pregnancies.  With Kalvin I barely even felt nauseous, and if I did, I would eat and the nauseousness was GONE.  With this little girl however, several foods sent me running to the bathroom to heave, but it was not a daily occurance.  With this pregnancy though, I couldnt even LOOK at a piece of chicken without feeling sick.   I didnt have a food like that with Kalvin.  By the second trimester, chicken was fine again and now I am eating like normal.

My main things are coming now, in the 3rd trimester.  I dont know what it is but I am more prone to corpral tunnel in my hands/arms, sciatic nerve pain, and all of that.  BUT... to the ailments that are slightly gross:

Hemorrhoids.  Anyone else have THESE issues? With Kalvin I had them at the 32 week mark.  It was soooo painful that I couldnt walk without pain or SIT without pain.  This pregnancy I was able to hold them off till I was about 37 weeks.  But I have them now.  They arent as bad as last time but still annoying.

The other thing is indigestion, gas pain, and just other digestion type issues.  Last night it was gas pain and my entire back just hurt from shoulder to hips.  The gross part is that I had to take a bath at 330am to relieve the pain.... well I guess the warm water also got my gas bubbles moving too.  From then on I was gassy the rest of the night.... But regardless it took about another hour before I fell asleep.

I dont know.  And now at 38 and 4 days, my stomach feels like I seriously have NO room for anything.  Its tight and hard and I feel like every organ inside of me is being squashed.  Is it because I am so petite?  Because I seriously only gained weight in my stomach?  Literally the only things that got bigger on my body are boobs and belly.  Every other part of me looks like pre-pregnant me.  Lucky maybe (but more so after birth), but also I think it makes every ailment worse.....

Needless to say, I am so read for this to be over!  10 days till the due date.  Will she come before?  And please don't come late!!! lol.....

Death and TAXES

I am writing this as upset as I can be right now....

We did our taxes with a PROFESSIONAL accountant this year because of the 1st time home buyer credits and all of that.  The state money was able to be processed electronically because there were no special deductions.  The Fed we had to mail.  Well.... according to our tax information we were to recieve 532 from the state.

GREAT!  We can finally catch up from when All State screwed us out of 475 of our money!  We seriously have been scraping ever since that crap happened..... :(.

Well, I look at Gregs statement online today.... Maryland St Credit of:  63 and some cents....... WTF?  So I called Greg to ask but of course he didnt have time to explain why it was so significantly less. Doesnt he know I go crazy over these things when I dont know why we are being SCREWED again??

Everything related to money in this family is ALWAYS too good to be true.  Therefore I should have KNOWN there was NO WAY that we'd see that whole 532......

Greg will explain to me when he gets home today.  GREAT.  In the meantime I get to sit here and wonder WTF happened.....

BLASTED TECHNOLOGY!!!

So, we recently got a new laptop after Kalvin decided our other one needed a milk bath.....

We are now running Windows 7... yipee.  Well, we have an old desktop downstairs that is running Windows XP.  It has a HP photosmart printer connected to it.   Now, before I get into the nitty gritty let me say with the old laptop running Vista, I ALWAYS had problems setting up a home network.

So we get this new laptop, and I say, OK, lets at least make an attempt to set up the home network.  To my surprise, I go thru the steps, and BOOM 5 min later I am viewing shared folders and files from the desktop AND printing wirelessly from laptop to desktop.  NO problems AT ALL.  How weird.... especially given that technology is NEVER that nice to me.

Well, SPOKE TOO SOON.  We have had the laptop... what... one week? 2?  Thursday I used it to wirelessly print a document we needed for our taxes and it worked JUST fine.  Today I go to print some pictures..............

NOTHING.

So I look at the printer settings and the printer is "offline" according to the laptop.  I look at my network.  the Desktop NO LONGER IS AVAILABLE.   When I looked at the desktop, the printer is online and "shared" so the problem is with the laptop I am guessing but I dont get why............ SIGH.

Troubleshoot after troubleshoot and I STILL do not understand what could have gone wrong........ :/

Well.  I am gonna share the pics of all my lovely shower gifts on my blog, just for the fun of it.  I took pics of them and was gonna print them out just for a memory of all the gifts.... Id do it directly from the desktop but the damn thing is old and slow!!!

monkeys and giraffes!

my lil princess bedset! 

beautiful homemade blanket by Grandma Eleanor and burp cloths!

lots of cute sleepers and pack of onesies!

cute sleepers, diapers and wipes!

lots of cute girlie clothes and a big bro shirt for Kal!!!

a ton of baby stuff!  travel bed, travel chair, cozy for carseat, clothes galore and a memory calendar!

Adorable dresses, socks and a Kohls card!

more sleepers and onsies!  oh and more diapers!

monkeys, bath set, onsies and socks!

diapers, baby soap (the green is supposed to help when they have colds! ) a teether/brush! binky and gift card!

I have it all down who bought what, but didnt write it in here!

Oh well... gonna wrap this up and find food.  HUNGRY!!!

Household Chores.... BLAH!

I am sitting here, as I lazily ordered Dominoes Pizza for mine and Kals lunch today....(hey I was craving some of that yummy goodness,  in need of new stocking up on groceries again, and Greg did just get paid after all!  oh and its raining so without a vehicle I cant get anywhere without getting RAINED on!)

Ok I just rambled on a bit much didn't I?  Anyway, I sit here, full stomach and watching Kal slowly eat the ONE slice I gave him (as I already scarfed down the rest of that small pizza.... oops.... lol.)  Spongebob is on the TV, and I am staring down a huge mess that I SOOOO want to clean up mentally, but physically I can feel my body shutting down going NO NO NO! I didn't sleep well last night and therefore could REALLY use a nap instead!

Well, a lot of the mess is Kalvin's toys and stuff like that.... I am wondering, should I be teaching him to clean these up already?  At daycare it was a feat sometimes to get them to clean, but with alot of patience and a cleanup song eventually it did get cleaned up, and I worked in the 2s class.....

My father in law mentioned kids chores and receiving money for doing them yesterday, just in random conversation.... my question is he at a good age to start that?  even if the only "chore" I give him is cleaning his toys?  He is getting to that stage where he is constantly wanting candy and stuff at the store, so maybe giving him a quarter each day that he cleans up his toys would be a good thing?  Or is he too young to put the monetary thing to the chore of picking up his toys?

I am a child development major and I feel like I should know these things but I do not... lol.  At first, my first thought in my head was, he is too young for chores and an allowance!  But then I started thinking... he will randomly wake up from a nap or something and cry and demand to go for a walk to the store for "candy'.  Some days I just do not really have money to buy him candy and he doesn't seem to understand that.  So maybe this would be a good thing to start teaching him?  Will he grasp that concept at this age?  I don't know..... how do you moms get your kids to pick up after themselves?  just sing that annoying clean up song? or do you do something else?

Randomness

I dont know what it is about today but I am absolutely irritable.  Maybe its because Ive never experienced this "37 week pregnant" thing before or something.  Maybe its cuz I feel GIGANTIC and people make sure to inform me of that lately.  Maybe its because it literally feels like I have an Alien trying to break out of my stomach now when she moves!!  Whatever it is, it seems like everything sends me into a tizzy....

One thing that has particularly annoyed the hell out of me lately is talking to people I either only know casually or people I just met, and I get the stupid annoying "old wives tale comments".  Such comments as second guessing my 3 separate ultrasounds with 3 separate technicians that have identified GIRL parts, simply because I am "only carrying in the front"  God forbid, I was supposed to blow up like a balloon EVERYWHERE if I was having a girl right?  Never in your life would you think that genetically maybe I just carry my babies that way?  In general Ive said before that I hate when people overly comment on how skinny I am when I am NOT pregnant, but the fact that I only gained the weight in my stomach for both of my pregnancies might simply be because I have a high metabolism naturally and dont gain much weight normally.  But you know olds wives tales are so much more true than real pictures of the baby that trained professionals look at and can SEE and IDENTIFY body parts right???

Kal has been extra whiny and demanding lately too.  we went for a walk.  He wanted to go get something at the BP but I was headed to the WalGreens because we needed milk and the BP is literally just a "snack convienence store".  Then, on the other side of Eastern Ave (a pretty busy highway for those that dont live here) he sees the Burger King and wants to go there.  Well 1) not alot of money 2) not easy to get across that street from where we were, and I told him we cant go there today that we are gonna have mac and cheese for lunch today.  Crying again, we get to the WalGreens and he sees lolypops, and i told him that we could get one of those but on the way out, he still cried for a lil while, then he wanted gum drops instead but i got  him to get the lolypop in the end.  So on our walk home.... he sees the BK again.  and crying ensues AGAIN.  He  stops after a while but once we got to the door MORE crying ensued that he didnt want to go home that he watned BK... so I sat on the stoop while he cried about it.  Finally he said "i gotta pee" and BK was somehow forgotten about as we ran into the door to pee in the potty and when he was done he asked for "Spongebob" and wanted hot cocoa.... lol.....

Another thing.  I swear my mom doesnt want me to name the baby Chloe.  She continues to suggest other names... do you like THIS name? how about THIS name?  and decided to tell me that my grandfathers (dads side) response to my name choice was "WHATEVER" .

REALLY??  Whatever???  I guess I should have stuck with normal boring names right? Like he and my grandma did?  Idk. And anyway, Chloe is currently ranked #9 in popularity so its not like its some strange name I just MADE up or anything!!  Is is the older generation that doesnt get it because its kind of newer and fresh?  (even tho there IS a Chloe in the bible so its NOT really a new name).    And I am using Isabella for a middle name because I love that name but its just waaaaaaaaaaaaay too popular lately.  Did he "whatever" when I picked Kalvin Ellis for my sons name?  Maybe he did and I didnt know it... anyway I am done... Kal finished eating and I might try to settle him to a nap now....

FULL TERM!!

Looks like Kalvin is ready to be a big brother doesnt it? :) 

Ok, I am officially 37 weeks today!  Which means FULL TERM!!!  :)  I have been overly worried this entire pregnancy about having another preemie, but it looks like I am totally out of the woods with that!!  Especially if she really is the weight they SAY she is based on the ultrasound last week!

Even tho I am extremely ready for her to come now, thanks to my inlaws and hubby she needs to incubate at least ONE more week!  haha!  I am so grateful for the "surprise" baby shower that is coming up, but sadly it means I want to still be pregnant when its going on, so... wait one more week lil Chloe!!

Yes, my shower was initially supposed to be a surprise, but upon talking to Gregs grandma she let the cat out of the bag and ruined the surprise... lol... oh well tho... I am still "surprised" just earlier than they wanted me to fund out... LOL.

So I had the WEIRDEST dream last night.  I dont remember where I was, or what I was doing, but I was sitting down and the baby began to move.  Then she DRAMATICALLY began to move.  Like I saw a whole shape of a leg, foot..... everything extending from my stomach.  Then she started to roll and move.  she INITIALLY was head down, cuz the imprint of her leg was at the top of my stomach near my ribs.... (and according to my ultrasound she already is head down) Then she started to move and her head was to my left side and feet to the right side... and you could see her profile and everything imprinted in my stomach.  NEXT thing you know, I AM looked at her face, LITERALLY.... like dark brown eyes are looking right at me.  and a HAND comes out of my body right below my ribs.  I can remember screaming for my mother to come in right away (not sure why since she lives almost 5 hours from me now!) We called the doctor and the doctor asked if the baby looked fine and we said yea, and then he said is mom ok, and I said yea, so he said just take her the rest of the way out and all would be fine.... we didnt even go to the hospital... HOW ODD.   A baby came out of my abdomen like the movie ALIEN, but I was fine, not bleeding or ANYTHING.  Later in the dream I was carrying around a baby that looked at least 6 months old.....

cant fully see the massiveness of my tummy here... lol

ok that is more like it!

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delirious mornings....

Forgive me, I am blogging at 742am, before my morning cup of coffee, so if I am whining and miserable... thats why... haha

I am blogging this instead of posting a status simply because I can say more in ONE setting...

So Tuesday night I hit the pillow and the next thing I know its 615, the time Greg is crawling out of bed since his schedule was pushed back from 630-3, to 730-4.....  I slept the entire night.  I didnt wake up to pee even.  Didnt hear Gregs alarms.  How did this happen I dont know.  AND I dozed back off for a few after Greg left...

715 came and Kal was awake, and I was Ok with that unlike most mornings... lol I started my day right at 715 and felt good and got a lot done during the day. Now of course I still had a bad evening yesterday but thats a whole different story.

Well today is a WHOLE different ballgame.  I was up every 1-2 hours to pee last night, couldnt easily fall back asleep and had odd dreams the whole night.  Needless to say somehow I still slept through Gregs actual alarms, but when Greg got up to get in the shower... at 615... guess who woke up soon after?? Yep, Kalvin.  AND whiny Kalvin not cheery Kalvin.  It went down like this.  I got up to pee and we have this nightlight in the bathroom so I did not turn any lights on.  Well I guess Greg just got into the shower without using a real light either.  I go back to bed, Kal wakes up to pee and starts to WHINE in the bathroom.  So up I go, and he is whining that he wants the "light on"  I am like no we can see fine with the night light just go pee.... whining ensued but he went pee and he came to lay down with me in my room, but obviously sleep was no longer going to happen.

So I jumped in the shower at 7 when Greg was officially gone off to work, while Kal watched some Spongebob.... laid back down for a few after the shower, but Kal has been bouncing around since....

Ive brewed some coffee, altho I have yet to walk back into the kitchen to pour the cup...

I dont need reminded that my sleep will soon be even more interrupted.... for I AM NO DUMMY and I know that... haha..Its not like I am not a first time mother or anything.... but, can't I at least get some sleep BEFORE she arrives to wipe away whats left??  lol.

The Good, the Bad and the downright UGLY

The Good.

Some of you probably already seen my post last night, but got my ultrasound and lil Chloe Isabella is 7lb 4oz approx.  The technician said she is measuring at a 37 and 4 day mark when really my pregnancy is only a 36 and 1 day at that time.  So nice big healthy baby growing in there!

Of course, YIKES.   Or at least to me YIKES.  Sorry if I sound like a wuss to all those mommies that delivered 9 or more lb babies, but you gotta remember my first experience was a 4lb 34 weeker!  And pushing took some time with him for me.... I am just gonna pray that since my body has done this once before this one will be easier!!!!  lol.  But if born AT the due date, lil Chloe will be TWICE as big as her brother when he was born!!  and therefore I have a bit of a reason to go YIKES!  lol

So the rest of the appointment was to check my dilation and stuff.  Which was basically NONE! lol. I am still closed and only 20-30% effaced, so unless my water breaks again I don't see her coming out in the next week or so either...... lol.  I passed the Strep B test as well (they did that for me on Friday during my random visit)

The Bad.

Well, Yesterday was just a bad day overall for Kalvin.  I dont know what was going on with him but last night he was a MESS.  Coughing and crying and he didnt settle down till Greg decided to sleep next to his bed for a lil while, but then Kal was fine for the rest of the night.. odd.... I thought maybe he was getting sick, hence the coughing, but when I would go in there he wouldnt say ANYTHING.  Just cried and cried in between coughs.  Which is frustrating  and scary when you have a toddler thats almost 3 and has great language skills on a normal basis!!  I couldnt understand why when I asked him if anything hurt and he just cried... :(.  So needless to say, even tho Kal finally fell asleep, my sleep was very light if any all night because I was worried about him.  Also, my 36 weeker thats 7lbs thats still in my belly must have been resting on my bladder again cuz I was peeing alot again....

The Ugly

Well... I am not gonna discuss this in details on my blog, since its public and ANYONE can read it... and I am not sure I want to air this out here, but lets just say I found out some things about someone I know that is downright ugly....... that was also weighing on my mind last night keeping me awake as well......

i dont even know.... haha....

Potty Training.

Thats all. I have NO words for it.  Other than its the most frustrating stage I have dealt with with my son since he was born.  WHY is it so frustrating? WHY does he do so well for so long only to slip at the strangest times?  I must say that I get MORE frustrated when its a BM accident.... why? cuz its GROSS!  UGH.  

This morn, I am cooking the breakfast, and I made eggs, home fries and bacon for me and Kal.  Of course I was busy in the kitchen, and my hubby is at work, but that hasnt stopped my son BEFORE from saying something to me about needing to use the potty........  Instead, I look back, find him bottom naked, thinking he left wet pants in the bathroom, I go in, find the poop filled undies instead.  He has NOT done a BM in his underwear since probably DECEMBER.  UGH.  Just frustrated today!  

On another note, I walked out of the house to gain some composure from being angry about the accident, so I didnt blow up on Kal about it, and I find although it rained last night, its nice, sunny and warm currently. However, I see that more storms are planning on rolling in by noon... UGH again.  Maybe we can get out for a walk or something BEFORE that happens today.....

Finally, 36 weeks checkup this evening!!  Now since I had a lil scare on Friday and went to the doctors, he did my Strep B test already, which is one thing they were going to need to do tonight.... However I also have an ultrasound scheduled that is supposed to give me an estimation on how big lil Chloe is.  Now I have a regular check up too, but who knows if we will keep that, but I guess we will.... He can at least check my dilation and all of that, which I doubt there is any yet! (there wasnt anything going on as of Friday).

Ok,  I feel a lil better now, gonna see if we can spend some time outdoors before it gets icky.......

so tired......

I dont even have a witty title for today.

I dont have energy for anything.  So much for nesting.  I still feel symptoms of that cold lingering around even though I thought at first it was gone.  I am tired and I ache everywhere.  I swear this girl is using my lungs as her pillow for I can barely take a breath anymore!  I am 3 days away from 36 weeks, and as I get closer to the "full term" mark I just keep thinking... OK I am DONE! COME OUT!  lol......

I am soooooo not ready for her tho.  I barely have any clothes yet.  I have the bassinet set up and the swing just needs some batteries, and I guess the car seat is almost ready since she will just be using Kalvins old one.....

I would love to have a video monitor, and a breast pump, but those are 2 expensive things that are just not in the budget right now.  Kinda sad cuz 2 people I know that are expecting within the same week as me are having a shower, one of which is on her second child (4 years apart) same gender, but it seems I wont be getting one.

I am buying a new crib bedding set, but that might as well wait till she arrives.... since she will spend the first 2-3 months in our room in the bassinet more than likely afterall...... maybe when taxes come in I can at least get the video monitor... which also I guess can wait since she will live in our room in the beginning....

I need to make a hospital bag..... right now I want a nap.  Greg is working late.  should be leaving work in about 1/2 hour.... its pizza night.... fine by me cuz I have NO energy for cooking today!

Overwhelmed.

Feeling a bit overwhelmed lately.... laundry backed up, dishes dirty in the sink, Kalvins toys everywhere.......

I just do not have the energy to do any of it today.  And I am still worried about having this baby too early.  I cant wait till monday cuz its my 36 week appointment and much closer to full term, and if something happens after that I can feel more at ease.  They start the more evasive checkups on monday, so they will at least be checking week to week whether there is any tears or leaks, dilating and all of that jazz.  plus I will get that stinking strep b test over with, and they are doing an ultrasound for the baby's size.

Kalvin has been really hitting a nerve in me today too, and I just do not know why.  He ruined my chapstick and I am sick of telling him NOT to touch stuff like that.  His potty training is like a freaking see-saw, last week I think I changed his undies 1 time in the day the WHOLE week, a few times he had accidents at night (took away pull-ups as an experiment)  But this week I have had to change him several times each day, including twice today!

Idk... maybe if I felt better and wasnt so sleepy today would be a better day....

some things will NEVER change.....

Well, talking to Greg about last night HELPED ZERO/ZILCH NADA.

I love Greg and we get along and everything is fine with our marriage,  but SOME THINGS... SOME THINGS, he just NEVER EVER will see my side, and its just pointless because I WILL NEVER win the argument.  It really upsets me that he KNOWS it bothers me, but what is his excuse? "WE WEREN'T DOING ANYTHING"

The house was a mess, I was TRYING to clean but didnt feel well.  Not like John has never seen the house a mess before but STILL.  I didnt feel good, and just wanted a QUIET night. He was over Sunday night.  why again????  Greg DID invite him I found out... but WHY can't he JUST tell me he is going to?  WHY do I have to find out he is coming over AS there is a KNOCK at our door????

Seriously why 2 nights in a row?   And I NEVER know when he will show up.  would anyone ELSE find this annoying????? Seriously? Am I the only one that thinks its RUDE to NOT give your wife a HEADS UP you invited someone to the house?????????????????

Someone please take me away

I dont know where to start.

I dont know if its pregnancy hormones raging or WHAT.  But I am overly annoyed lately.  One specific reason.  I swear to God my BIL has been over here MORE OFTEN than NOT over here.  And he either tells Greg is he coming over and GREG does NOT tell me, or he just SHOWS THE F UP.

I'm sick with a cold, I'm 35 weeks pregnant and TIRED.   I DO NOT NEED RANDOM house GUESTS 5 days a week.

SOMEONE PLEASE just take me out of here before I kill someone.  When I first moved to be with Greg in Baltimore and for most of the first year and 1/2 of our marriage, we lived with John to help pay bills and eventually be able to have a house.  We did not get along AT ALL but I think its cuz he was ALWAYS around and interfering with my relationship with Greg.  Things have been sooooooo much better since we got our own place and he got his own, and he only showed up every few weeks, or once a week at most...... He was here yesterday because GREG invited him I think for dinner.  (I THINK)  I have NO IDEA why he is here TODAY again.  I am just tired of it all.  Last week he was around at least 4 days that week.

Does anyone ELSE see a problem with his constant bombardment of our home or am I being BITCHY about it??????